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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27357568">Welcome to the Sh*t Show</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roryfinn/pseuds/Roryfinn'>Roryfinn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Actor Fic, Adoption, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, British Character, Coming Out, Fluff, I curse a lot and that transferred over, I will follow the story line I just need to put in the Oc, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Orphan - Freeform, Other, Panicking, Protective Jared Padalecki, Protective Jensen Ackles, Protective Misha Collins, Season/Series 04, Speech Disorders, Trans Character, demi-boy, depersonalisation, spacing out</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:40:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,573</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27357568</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roryfinn/pseuds/Roryfinn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Landon Park is a closeted actor on the hit TV show Supernatural. His goal...To play the first trans character on TV.</p><p>Takes place in 2009 and will go forward from there. I’m probably gonna have Cockles in here but I understand that Misha and Jensen are married men and are both straight. </p><p>This is FICTION and is not meant to be offensive towards the actors in any way at all.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Supernatural Cast &amp; Original Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. A Solo Hunt</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is FICTION and is not meant to be offensive towards the actors in any way at all. </p><p>That being said:</p><p>Hi, I’m Landyn and this is my way of projecting myself into a supernatural world of some sorts. The Oc’s name is Landon (familiar ik) and is basically me just the demi-boy version. He uses he/they pronouns just in case anyone gets confused. </p><p>ANYWAY, on the the fic mates!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Chapter 1: </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Three knocks on the trailer door. “Get your shit together Leah! They need you at makeup in five!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Got it, Jens!” He sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Leah </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It stung every time they heard it. He wasn’t Leah, he never was and never will be. He was Landon Park. Not Leah. </span>
</p><p>Landon hurried down to make up and got ready for the first scene they were going to shoot. Their character, Paisley, got into a fight with Dean because she went on a hunt alone. It’s an emotional scene and shit they weren’t ready. I mean he was ready to shoot the scene but the emotional turmoil that came with it. That’s what he wasn’t ready for. </p><p>
  <span>They were rushed to the set and waited for Jesen and Jared to show. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Misha wasn’t in this shot and wasn’t going to be in the next few so he got to sit off on the side. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Landon walked over to him waiting for the boys.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You ready L?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They smiled at the nickname. “Sorta. I-I mean I- I know the scene will come out good but the context and- and the topic...I’m s-sorta worried, about the- the after matter.” Landon let out a humourless laugh, “It’s so stupid, I’m just read- reading lines. It’s not- not like the emotions are m-mine.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Misha gave him his worried eyes. He opened his mouth to say something but just as he did the boys arrived on the set from makeup. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gotta go! W-wish me luck!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Landon got up and headed over to his spot. They fist-bumped Jensen and hugged Jared. Jared walked over to Misha. He wasn’t in this scene, it was just Jensen and him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They rolled their shoulders and cracked his knuckles getting in character. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jensen didn’t have to do much to get into character. He was practically one with Dean at this point. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Supernatural, season 4, episode 8, scene one take one. And...Action!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jensen faded and it was all Dean. “Pais you can’t do that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Landon’s English accent and stutter faded away as he became Paisley. “Do what, what did I do this time Dean. Inform me why don’t you on what ludicrous thing I just so happened to do wrong.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t go out on a hunt alone! You know that! You could-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They took a deep breath and cut him off, “I could what! Get hurt, boohoo. I’m a hunter Dean, I’m gonna get hurt, it's going to happen. You can’t protect me all the time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jensen, well Dean’s face turned hard with anger. “You are seventeen Paisley! You will listen to me, you don’t have a choice!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Landon tried to gulp down his fear and become one with their character. “My ass I do!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Paisley-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Every waking moment of every day I don’t have to listen to every damn thing you say!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Paisley-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is one of those things you don’t have control over! I know what I’m doing, I've done it long enough! I did it without you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Paisley!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“YOU CAN'T STOP ME DEAN YOUR NOT MY DAD!” His chest heaved up and down. His character walked away like she was supposed to and slammed it shut, leaving the ‘motel’. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cut! That was perfect Leah perfect! One take!” Landon kept walking off the set. They needed air and they could quite seem to get much inside the studio. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Misha looked around for them frantically. “Where's L?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jared shrugged and Misha ran off to find him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“L?! L! Leah!” Misha ran around the side of the set only to find them with their head in his hands against the side of the studio. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“L?” Misha walked over slowly, crouched down and put his hand on their shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Landon looked up with wide eyes and scrambled away from the touch as if it burned. He put his arms up to protect his face and said, “Please don’t hurt- hurt me please! I’m so-sorry!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey it’s me, Misha, I’m not gonna hurt you L, I promise okay?” He put his hands up in a surrender like stance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“M-Misha?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it’s me kiddo.” Misha gave them a warm smile. “Wanna tell me what happened here or do you want to wait.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Landon held up two fingers. Misha understood right away and asked, “you wanna wait?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They nodded quickly and tried to get their breathing under control. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“L, can I touch you? Is that okay?” He nodded again and tentatively opened his arms and they threw himself into his arms. They moved their head to the left side of his chest and listened to his heartbeat, steadying his breathing as he listened. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you tell me what happened now?” Misha saw Jared and Jensen start to speed walk over to them. Misha mouthed, ‘No wait’ and they stopped in their tracks. They had never seen the two of them like this, Landon curled up in Misha’s lap shaking. Though it looked like it happened often.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“L? You there, you still with me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhmm..” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you fading?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Landon tended to completely space out after he panicked, (they agreed not to call them panic attacks because they don’t have a panic disorder), the two of them started to call it fading or blinking out until they figure out what exactly is going on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I-I’m still here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think you can tell me what happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They nodded, “The scene, and what I said about D-Dean not being Paisley’s Dad. It hit too close to home and then I got- I got upset because I’ve- I’ve never had a dad besides the ones in the foster homes that made me call them f-father. Then the angry look, it- it didn’t feel like Dean. I-it felt like Jens and I got scared..” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay Leah-“ Misha was cut off by a loud sob. His eyes went wide. He never cried outside of his trailer. Misha looked over at Jensen and Jared that was still standing off to the side waiting for the okay. They realised that they weren’t okay and walked off to the set to tell Robert what was happening. “L-Leah..?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Landon mumbled into his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“L you need to speak up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not Leah..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Misha’s eyes went wide. “You- I’m sorry I’m confused.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I-I’m not Leah. I’m not- not her, I never was, I never will be.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Leah-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t call me that!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He put his hands up once again, “Okay, okay. What do you mean you're not Leah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Landon took a deep breath, “I’m not a-a girl. That’s not my name.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It sorta clicked in Misha’s head. “Okay if you're not a girl, what is your gender?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They smiled at the fact that he did ask the age-old question, what are you? “I-I’m a demi b-boy. I’m only-only half male. T-the other half is-isn’t there.” He nervously chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Misha surprisingly understood. “Okay. That’s great! What is your name and pronouns then?” His smile was blinding and Landon almost started to cry again at the support from him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“L-Landon. My name is Landon and I-I use he- he, him and they, th-them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright Landon, how are you now? Can you handle heading back to the set? I bet everyone is worried, bud.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They nodded and Misha walked over to him and threw his arm around his shoulder and hugged him close. “Does anyone else know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook their head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I call you L still? I don’t want to out you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y-yeah, that still works- works Mish.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mish smiled and kissed the top of their head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Welcome to the shit show Landers.” The two of them cracked up and walked into the set. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Nervous Confusion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Landon tells Jared what been on their mind.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>God I have never written this much for a single chapter ever so yeah I hope you enjoy</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“LEAH!” Jensen ran up to him. Landon inwardly cringed at the name but tried to keep a calm face on the outside. “Jesus Christ, are you okay. Kiddo, you scared the shit out of us.” </p>
<p>“I’m fine J-Jens. The- the scene hit close and I got ner-nervous, I’m okay now mate. Where’s Robert, I have to apologise?” </p>
<p>“He’s over there L.” </p>
<p>“Thanks, Mish.” Landon made their way over to their director, a bit of a nervous pep in his step. </p>
<p>“Hey, l-look I’m so s-sorry.” They looked down and turned their ankles in. Nervous energy was practically radiating off of him.</p>
<p>“L, why are you sorry?” Landon looked up at that. Confused was an understatement. </p>
<p>“W-w-what do you mean- mean? I-I...d-did you not j-just see me-me freakout?” He let out a humorous laugh, sarcastic smile showing their confusion perfectly. </p>
<p>“Leah, your mental health is more important than the damn scene. I thought you would know that. Of course, I’m not mad, you had a moment and needed some air. We all do sometimes.” Landon looked shocked. “What do you think that Jensen doesn’t walk off sometimes? If Sam gets hurt in the scene, it’s almost 100% that Jensen is gonna walk off the set. You got overwhelmed, that's fine I just wanna make sure you're okay to keep shooting.” </p>
<p>Landon looked at Rob with wide eyes. He wasn’t mad. Thank god because he didn’t want to freak out all over again. “Y-y-yeah I...I’m g-good for the next scene.” Landon opened his mouth to say something again but decided against it. They shuffled back the set calmer now ready to shoot for the rest of the day. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A couple of hours later and they were done with the scenes for the day. </p>
<p>Landon grabbed his jacket and started to head over to his trailer. He wanted to get into sweatpants and a baggy jumper quick. </p>
<p>“L! Leah!!” </p>
<p>Landon looked down and sighed. They need to tell Jared and tell him soon because this was getting annoying, but he wanted Misha there. It’s always better if Misha is there. </p>
<p>“Y-y-y-yeah J-jare?” They cringed at the stutter. It was worse than normal. </p>
<p>“Is everything okay?” </p>
<p>They sighed and rubbed their eyes. “Um...sorta. C-Can you, if- if you don’t mind, f-find Mi-Misha and then come b-back to my trailer the two of- of you?” </p>
<p>Jared smiled softly at him. “Yeah of course Lee. Just me and Misha, you don’t want me to go get Jens?”</p>
<p>They shook his head. He loved Jensen but he couldn’t tell him. Not quite yet. They weren’t sure how he would react. Jensen was a little more iffy about LGBT things and they didn’t want to lose him because he didn’t understand or agree with him. </p>
<p>“Okay, that's okay. I’ll go find Misha l, and I’ll meet you back at your trailer okay?” </p>
<p>“O-okay.” They quickly walked away to their trailer. </p>
<p>Jared had no clue what was going on with them but he wanted to help as much as he could. So he went on a mission to find Misha as fast as he could. </p>
<p>“Mish! Misha! Misha over here!”</p>
<p>Misha, confused as always, walked over to Jared. “Yeah what’s up?”</p>
<p>“Leah wants us to meet at her trailer.” </p>
<p>This time Misha cringed a bit at the name, something that slipped right past Jared. “Any reason why?”</p>
<p>“She didn’t say. All she said was that she only wanted the two of us and not Jensen.”</p>
<p>“Ah, okay. Yeah, we should probably hurry then.”</p>
<p>“Why what’s wrong? Is she okay?”</p>
<p>“That’s not for me to say.” Misha knew exactly what this was about. Landon was nervous and wanted to come out to Jared but didn’t quite know if Jensen would accept him. Misha had begun to realise that Landon tended to feel more comfortable if he was in the room with him. Why their youngest cast member had grown so close to him over the other two he had no clue. That wasn’t to say that Landon wasn’t close to Jensen and Jared, they were just a bit closer to Misha. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jared knocked on Landon’s trailer door. </p>
<p>Landon wasn’t freaking out...okay that’s a total lie they are freaking the fuck out but….yeah, no buts they are scared. It’s okay though…</p>
<p>Landon got up and opened the door. His eyes were puffy and red from his most recent freak out that he had behind closed doors. Landon didn’t hesitate to hug Jared before he even walked into the trailer burying his head into his chest. Small sobs escaped from their mouth. </p>
<p>“Le-“ Misha slapped Jared in the arm before he could finish and walked into the trailer prompting Jared to follow. </p>
<p>Jared looked down at your head and simply walked over to your couch and sat down and positioned you to sit next to him. </p>
<p>“Buddy, what’s wrong?” Jared prompted. Landon just shook his head that was still shoved in Jared’s chest. “Kiddo, you're starting to worry me…” a minute or two went by and Misha realised that Landon hadn't made a noise at all. </p>
<p>“L...L are you still with us?” Nothing. “L.” </p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” Jared looked over at Misha. He looked so scared, so worried that something was truly wrong with Landon who was just sitting there in his arms practically lifeless. </p>
<p>“They’re fine, just put their head against your chest and over their other ear. I’m going to get an ice cube.” </p>
<p>Jared didn’t even realise the pronoun change he just did as he was told adjusting the rigid body in his arms. Misha walked back over and put a plastic ice cube in Landon’s hand and closed his fingers around it. </p>
<p>“What now?”</p>
<p>“Give it two seconds…” Landon started to blink and the haze started to clear. He realised he was against someone’s chest, the heartbeat strong but quick. It wasn’t Misha’s….he then remembered what happened and realised it was Jared's lap he was sitting in. He sat up a bit and looked over at Misha. </p>
<p>“Hey, you with us now Landers?”</p>
<p>“Landers?” Misha mumbled a swear under his breath and looked over at Landon apologetically. </p>
<p>Landon sat up and scooted off of Jared’s lap opting to sit next to him. Their knees were touching him because they still wanted to be close but were slightly embarrassed. “My n-name, I go by L-L-Landon. I’m not a- a girl.”</p>
<p>“O-oh. Okay, that’s okay. What are your pronouns?” Landon looked up at Jared and let out a sigh of relief. </p>
<p>“He/they, I-I’m a demi-boy.”</p>
<p>“Alright, Landon. Can I ask though, why don’t you want to tell Jensen yet? You don’t have to but I’m curious.”</p>
<p>“I...It’s evident that- that Jens doesn't quite understand the- the LGBTQ com-community. I see how he re-reacts to the f-f-fans shipping D-Dean with Cas. I d-don’t wanna lose him because- because he does-doesn’t understand.”</p>
<p>Misha walked over and sat next to Landon. Misha smiled at how naive Landon was to the situation. About why Jensen reacts to the ship the way he does. “Landon I can assure you Jensen doesn’t feel that way about the community.”</p>
<p>“How-“</p>
<p>“Because I can. You don’t have to tell him by any means, but know that he won’t leave you because you're a sort of a guy.” Landon let out a watery laugh. </p>
<p>“Yeah okay, you're probably right.”</p>
<p>Misha and Jared shared a glance because he didn’t stutter and smiled brightly. </p>
<p>Jensen knew that something was up with Landon. He could feel it in his chest but he knew that they would come to him. Eventually. Because they always did and true to word, Landon would. He just needs a bit of time. </p>
<p>And Jared needs to stop slipping up god he was gonna out him any day now, maybe he should have told Jens first.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As always comments, kudos and prompts are appreciated! </p>
<p>And remember, if Dean wouldn’t do it it’s definitely not a good idea!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you and as always, comments, kudos and prompts are appreciated!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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